Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Put this in your juicebox...

First of all, I don't know about you guys, but I can't read the stories about Connecticut for more than about five seconds without tearing up. To think of those twenty (20!) young children...I just can't. It's just unfair. And that's all I can really say about it.

But, since America needs answers, they'll argue until they come to an "agreement". I say "agreement" because in my mind, there's NO ANSWER for preventing what happened to stop happening. Everyone has their point of view.

First shooting I remember is Columbine. Teens shooting their peers. And building crappy bombs.

Then, other shootings pop up.

The movie theater shooting in Colorado. During The Dark Knight Rises no less, a movie which I had high interest in seeing, but still haven't managed to. That shooting is in the back of my mind every time I think about watching it.

Then a mall shooting? Ridiculous.

Then an elementary school. Where are we safe, really?

In my opinion, guns are just the easy way out. Did the masterminds between 9/11 use guns? Nope...box cutters. And planes. And buildings. Guns are just the easy way out. But that's just my opinion.

It's too easy for me to blame guns. That's not the answer. I was raised in Texas, around a step-father who had guns from the time I very first knew him. I've never shot a single living thing. I've never had the desire to. Even in my darkest times, I've never wanted to harm anyone, unless you count throwing a sock at an ex boyfriend. And you know what? Even that was just a scenario in my head. I walked away. I cooled off. I came up with a plan b.

If anything, I'm leaning more toward mental illness, and bringing awareness to everyone.
I've posted earlier about the battle between the good and evil inside everyone.
Doesn't it make sense that these monsters let their evil win? That they fed their evil until it broke them and led to these tragedies?

One of my favorite writers is Jenny Lawson.
She has the ability to cheer me up even on my shittiest of days.
She suffers from mental illness. She has brought so much good to this issue though, and she has brightened more lives than just mine with her honesty about herself. Through her, and because of her, people have sought out to get the help they need.

It's not always enough.
Jenny's latest blog post describes a personal tragedy, a close friend of her family taking his own life. She describes how he attempted to go get help for himself, but it was denied.
She tells about how even when she found a doctor that could help her, the doctor wouldn't take her insurance, so Jenny pays thousands of dollars out of pocket to keep herself sane.

It shouldn't come to thousands of dollars.

20 children lost their life. Babies. That's not okay.

All I'm saying is...be aware.
Be aware of those around you. Be aware of yourself.

And read Jenny. She could brighten your day too.

Friday, November 30, 2012

Sonic Rant FTW.

Dear Person Who Orders Food at the Drive-Thru at Sonic,

Listen. I get it. You just wanted food for your entire extended family, and you wanted it now. Maybe your mother never taught you to cook. Maybe you have a fear of ovens or microwaves...whatever it is that stopped you from *cooking* for you family. Hey, maybe they just dropped in on you! Which...family is pretty much known for.
Maybe it's not even family, maybe it's your night to bring snacks to Little Jimmy's Soccer Team! In which case, we should probably discuss that you need to bring healthy snacks to that kind of thing, but, that is for another day, another letter.

What I'm trying to say is...no one is judging you for ordering that much food.
However, when I'm sitting in the drive-thru behind you, stuck, after ordering only  my Large Diet Dr. Pepper with easy ice and sugar free cherry, I am judging you harshly. 
This is sonic, dude.
There are places to pull in and park for large orders.
It's America's Drive IN not drive THRU.
Maybe I was on my way to work! Maybe I was late picking up my kid! Maybe I was just super thirsty and couldn't even make it up to the window because of your gigantic order.
You can almost expect that this will happen anywhere else but Sonic. You're almost TRICKED into believing that your food will arrive faster at Sonic, because you're not stuck behind people like you at the drive thru.

I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and believe that maybe this was just a one time thing. Maybe you didn't know you needed that much food-maybe you originally just wanted a drink and then, on impulse, decided to feed your entire extended family. Just...next time...remember us behind you.

I'd sure appreciate it.

Lots of Love,


[This post is at the request of my momma, who felt stabby at this situation. I actually prefer my diet dr. peppers plain and simple, with the normal amount of ice.]

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

UPDATED//Not sure if she just GETS me, or just really supportive...

Conversation between Kellie and Myself:

Me: I just really really want some taco pizza.

Kellie: that sounds yummy

Me: It really does and it's like...wtf, why would my brain even go there?

Kellie: why wouldn't it go there?

Me: Plus it's like. What do you DO in this situation? Really? Do I just WANT taco pizza, until I get it? There's no telling when I could come across a frigging taco pizza.

Kellie: very true!

Me: I'm going to have to order a taco pizza.
 It can't be stopped, or helped.

Kellie: you really need to.
 do it! do it!


I did not order a taco pizza.
While I was on the Mazzios website, my eyeball wandered to a pizza called "The Napoli".
You can imagine my reaction.
Now, imagine my reaction to a pizza with pepperoni AND sausage AND roasted red peppers AND roasted onions.
Now imagine that they brush the crust of that pizza with the same type of mixture that dominos does...you know...the cheesy, garlicky stuff.
Now, imagine that maybe this is why I love Napoli so much. He has the same name as an amazing pizza.

Or, it could be his rugged good looks.

Let's go with both. 

Tuesday, November 20, 2012


"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life's realities."
-Dr Seuss 

That being said, I should probably go ahead and let you know...this post isn't about nonsense. This post is nonsense. That's cool with you, right? 


Thanksgiving is coming, you guys. As if you needed another reminder. 
I went to the store yesterday to get conditioner, and it was already beginning to get insane in there. 
I'm very nervous to do my shopping for food tomorrow. I hope I don't hurt anyone. 
Or myself. 
Or the checker.
Or the old lady in the wheelchair in the parking lot. 
...Maybe I should hire a personal shopper, just for one day. You can do that, right? 

I went to take a picture of my shoes yesterday for instagram and noticed how horridly bruised my legs are. 
Then, I realized that this is indeed not a big deal, because I run into things quite a bit. 
I'm not a Bella Swan grade of clumsy by any means but...I think I run into things so often that I just kind of...keep going on with my life like it didn't happen, and then when my legs are horridly bruised for instagram photos, I'm like HOW IN THE- but then, I realize that...well you get it. 
I could never be a leg model. 
Is there such thing? 

Aiden got his hand smashed in a door at daycare a few weeks ago, and it made one of his fingernails fall off yesterday. It sort of freaked me out. Bad things happening to nails freak me out. It's an issue I'm looking into. 

I check the news everyday for Napoli rumblings. 
The Red Sox and the Yankees are eyeballing him. 
...I may have to quit him. 

Lastly, if you've been following my food blog I sincerely apologize. I haven't posted anything in a while, probably because of the whole Walking Dead obsession. But that's over now. Sniff. 
I have one ready, I just need to actually sit and write it. 
Le Sigh. 

Friday, November 16, 2012

The Happenings On.

Oh, look at that. It's been years since I've blogged.
Not years probably...weeks. Weeks? Yeah.
Let's not be dramatic.

I'm here to report the happenings on.
And let's face it, I have many.

I'm sorry.
I mean, my blog is called, "Vicariously Through Me".
It was even suggested by a friend. Does that mean she wanted to live Vicariously Through Me?
No idea.
Bless her heart. I've probably disappointed her.

Here's what I've been up to:

Work. Self explanatory.

Working out again, finally. (This takes up a lot of my free time, actually.) I've even started running and I'm pretty shocked about how much I love it. Who am I?

Hanging out with my almost-two-year-old. This tests my patience as...he's almost two. But he loves his momma, and he shows it more everyday. And lucky for him, his momma loves him back.

Watching TV. This is the epitome of my boring-ness. My latest obsession is The Walking Dead, but I'm almost caught up to what is showing on TV now, so soon I will have to switch back to Gossip Girl. The Walking Dead surprised me-it tugs at your heart strings. It's not just zombies we're dealing with, y'all. It's people's lives. (I was about to type "Plus, Gossip Girl is so unrealistic" but then I realized that I'm comparing it to a show about zombies, and some people don't think that could happen. May the odds be ever in your favor.) Anyway. The show's awesome. However, it is also gruesome, and therefore cannot be watched during the hours that my child is awake. So this is how I've been spending my time after he goes to bed.
WHOA dream big.

Hanging out with Katrina. I've known Katrina for like...six years. We worked together at Kohl's. We never hung out a LOT, and she's been trying to drag me to do stuff with her since I moved back to Wichita Falls, but the timing never worked out. Then, we decided to start working out together. So now I see her about four days a week on average, depending on what's going on. Of course, that led to other hang out times, which led to me helping her out this weekend.She's very crafty, and has a booth at Hangar Holiday this year. So, that's how I'm spending my weekend. :)

Laughing at people. Facebook provides so much entertainment for me these days. Texas seceding from the Union? Are you kidding me, people? How long until people find something else to complain about? Listen to some John effing Lennon. Let it be. When you're done...Bob Marley. Every little thing is gonna be alright. If it ain't okay, then it ain't over.

Finally...I've been freezing. I do realize I could add more layers, but that's way too easy. I'm kidding. I get to dress way cuter in the winter and that pleases me. But seriously. No one can ever believe how cold I get. I guess it's my nature. Or, I have poor circulation. Whichever.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Reconciling the Anna. AKA-truth.


My apologies. But I'm glad I got that out of my system.
And why am I blogging on the floor?
**Sits up on the couch like a normal person**
And why am I hungry?
I had a cheeseburger earlier.

And I'm grumpy for no apparent reason.
Probably the upstairs people who insist on moving furniture every night at 9PM.
They know I have a kid. They've seen me with him.

Is this a blog or a venting forum? Or both? Is that what a blog is?

Anyway. I didn't open up my blogger to complain. Really.
I did have a topic in mind, suggested by my awesome cousin.
Actually, he's been trying to help me out of my blog rut.
When I first started reading his blog a few weeks ago, I felt deeply inspired to blog more, but I've recently hit a brick wall. And that's exactly how I felt after discovering my favorite blog...inspired, motivated...you get it. I felt the good things you feel before starting a blog that make you think you can pull it off until you get the dreaded blog block. Which...is hard to type. for sure. Blog Block. MMM.
Maybe it's a weird type of perfectionism? I seem to start writing and then stop because I find myself editing more than I should. I read other blogs that have regular posts and never seem to hit blocks, but maybe they're just...more honest than I am. There's always that voice in the back of my mind that says it's because they're better though.
I'm not looking for validation.
My goal nowadays is to simply have a project.
My goal is to figure out what makes the Anna tick...how I got where I am today, without the obvious answers. Life happened to me, but which parts made such a difference?

So this is what led me to decide to comply when my dear cousin suggested I join him in NaNoWriMo.
Sure, Mark. I don't have any clue what to write ONE BLOG ENTRY so you suggest I write a NOVEL.
The broader topic is comforting though, and I like the planning that goes in to it.
I enjoy plans.
And even if I fail...I'll have my project.
And it's much cheaper than decorating my apartment.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Write, right?

I have been busy.

Last weekend was wedding #1, which went very smoothly.
My handsome child man was in attendance, though he spent most of his time walking around with his Papaw.
Mommy had work to do.
I actually had fun helping, also. I am actually a bit shy, but I enjoyed talking to people.
Most people that know me well smirk when I tell them I'm shy, and insist that I am not.
I am.
Promise you I am.

Wedding #1 being over and done with means Wedding #2 is this weekend.
I got my bridesmaid dress back from the alteration shop.
It's still too big.
I'm going to have to purchase a very padded bra to make it work.
Doesn't matter if you needed to know that at all, what matters is, for the wedding pictures I am going to have this chest larger than what's real, and it will be good for laughs.
Or eye-rolling.
Whatever attitude you choose to have about it.

I'm taking tomorrow off work to fully prepare and not stress out about the little details I need to take care of before I leave town.
Like nails.
And packing.

Also, you know what I've noticed?
Brides are like one day celebs.
They really are.
I would not be able to stand that kind of attention.
I hope my future person is ready for either a SMALL wedding with pizza and beer, or a nice little trip to the JP.

I made something for the couple this weekend.
It's really sweet.
I will wait to post pictures though, in case the bride randomly decides to hunt down my blog and sees it before I'm ready for her to.

So that's it.
That has been my week...worrying about wedding stuff and how to pay for all of it and bills also.
Maybe I'll have something more interesting to say later on. :)

Monday, October 15, 2012

Here goes nothing...

I decided I need a hobby.
Really, I just need a change.
But mostly...a hobby.

So...I started a food blog.

Because...I've been told that when I write recipes, they are "very Anna".


Have fun.
Love it.
Hate it.
Read it.

That is all for now.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

The magic of 11:11.

Does everyone wish on 11:11?
I do.
Every time I see it, that is.
I don't always catch it...I'm a single mom and shit.
Maybe you believe in the 12:34 wish instead?
To each their own.
I'm not here to judge what you wish on, or for for that matter.
That's yo' bidness.

I think 11:11 is magic in several ways. I've been thinking a lot about this a lot recently.
I don't know why you wish on 11:11. I don't know if it means your wish will come true, or what.
What I do know is...11:11 only lasts a minute.
You have to decide, if you don't already know, what your wish is.

I always wait until right at 11:11 to figure out what I will wish for.
Most of the time, my wish surprises me.
A wish will come from somewhere in my crazy brain, and I'll think...
Really? I didn't know I even wanted that...
It's almost like the game with the questions...that one that helps you decide something by making you think quickly, to help you figure out what you really want.

Last night, as I was getting cozy up in my bed (did you read that gangster? It was meant to be gangsta.), I looked at the clock, and noticed the time, 11:11.
I thought to myself...Oh! I wish-...but came up with nothing.
I wished for nothing.
Even with the pressures of 11:11 only being a minute long, I could not come up with anything to wish for.

Does that make me happy? 
Is that what this feels like?
Or have I just matured enough to realize that I have everything I need. And although I want certain things, I'm perfectly satisfied not having them.

And that's a nice feeling.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Smoke Break Blog.

Just to clarify: I don't smoke. But I do take smoke breaks. Mental breaks? Not really a coffee break, as I drink coffee all morning. So...

I'm wearing a hoodie on my legs.

Yesterday I came into work to the sounds of shopvacs. The water heater exploded over the weekend, which lead to the flood of 2012.
It was humid.
And smelly.
And now, there are about 27 fans going, in an effort to dry the place up.
Not to mention the door propped open.
I thought about posting a picture of my hoodie legs, but then you'd have to see my messy office floor and...no one wants that.
Unless you do?

I'm gearing up for my busy, busy next couple of weeks.
This weekend is wedding #1, where I will be in the house party.
Since house party has several definitions, I'll just tell you that in this case it means I'm handing out "Wedding Snap" cards (google it), helping with drinks, and cutting cake.
I mean. Not THE cutting of the cake, but...you get it.
I don't know what I'm going to wear.
I do know what Aiden will wear though. I will have the most handsome date there. :D

My Phillip Phillips Pandora station keeps playing classical music. While soothing, it's...not exactly what I wanted. Ah, on to the next...
She & Him radio will do quite nicely.

I've added slippers to my hooded legs, for whoever is keeping score.

You may be wondering to yourself if I will do this all winter long.
The answer is, "Quite possibly, but who really knows?"
The REAL question is, "Will she still be able to visit the loo?"
Unless of course, you don't know what a loo is.
Google it?
I thought everyone knew what a loo was?
Whatever. Not my problem.
Point is, I've got it covered. Don't worry.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

UPDATED//See Anna write.


I'm glad that I got that out of my system.

In the past week, the following has happened:
-I went to a TX Rangers baseball game that got rained out, and I stood in the rain drinking beer with my brother and Kelli...watching it rain. It's not as depressing as it sounds. Promise. Plus, the game was the next day, and it was AWE.SOME.
-The game was on a Sunday night, so I had to stay with my brother in Azle, TX. I woke up early Monday morning to come back to WF and go to work like a responsible adult. My car died on the side of the road. Seven hours and one brand spankin' new alternator later, I finally was on my way home. I did wind up getting the day off though. So it wasn't a total loss. Although, I now owe my older brother a ton. On top of the ton I already owed him, for coming to my rescue 398734 other times before. He's a good brother.
-Aiden got his first stomach virus. All over both of my couches, 8 of my tshirts, my carpet, my bathtub, my bathroom floor, his bed, and also mine. He and I both spent the next day recovering. I cleaned. He got over it. All was good.
-I caught Aiden's stomach thingy. I think. I was sick Friday. That's what had happened. I got thirteen hours of sleep out of the deal though. that was magical.

See? All ended well.

It was cold this weekend. And if you say it wasn't cold, then you don't know me well at ALL. I wore jeans and closed toed shoes. And my hoodie. IT WAS COLD.
And that's all I have to say about that.

A pigeon died today.
In front of my car.
At my apartment.
I don't know if he committed suicide, or if he was pushed.
The jury is still out.
If you have any information that will lead to a pigeon arrest, please call my anonymous tip line.
It will be hard, because I don't have an anonymous tip line.
Good luck with that.


You may or may not notice the change in my blog.
I am no longer "Putting my big girl panties on and moving on with my life."
I am now a single momma in my own little world.
Which....is really more accurate.
I'm no longer struggling to get my big girl panties on.
They're on.
This part of my life is...keeping them on.
I'm glad we had this talk.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

This is a post about my child.

My child is two months and seventeen days from being a 2 year old.
If that doesn't sum up this entire post, you'll have to birth a child and then raise it to this point to understand.

He's at that age. 
He's not the sweet kid I used to have 100% of the time.
It's not that he traded with someone else exactly, as I'd like to assume in hopes that my sweet little boy is still out there somewhere, looking for me.
Nope. It's just a phase. 
He will grow out of it. 

That being said...

I'd like to illistrate a comparison, if I may.

My dear son used to wake up happy every single morning.
The second he opened his eyes, he was smiling.

It takes me an extra ten minutes to get out of the door, and I've learned to put a diaper and a full set of clothes on a toddler who is interested in doing other things-i.e. digging through the toy box and sleeping.

So there's an adjustment.

It's all an adjustment.

Luckily, about the last hour he's awake, he remembers that I am his sweet momma who doesn't hurt myself or others when he's going through his little tantrums. He cuddles with me then.

But he still tries to shut me in closets when he's not cuddling with me.

Is this a toddler thing? Or...Does he think I'm a lesbian? Did he learn that at daycare?
Since I'm not with his daddy, I'm a lesbian? Do you think one of the other kids told him that? I bet it was that Cason kid. He's trouble.

Whatever the reason, last night, my dear sweet little boy decided I belonged in the closet.

We were at my parent's house, and they have this sort of laundry closet type-a-deal. I was in there, folding our clothes, as mommas do.
Aiden has always liked to play with the doors to this closet, and more recently likes to shut them.
So there I was, in the closet, and there he was, closing the doors.
I decided last minute to let him shut me in there.
I'm a watch-and-see kinda gal, I reckon.

So, after several attepts, my dear, sweet, perfect little boy completely shut me in the laundry closet.
He then began to cry.
I began to chuckle.
Then, he threw himself on the ground, bawling.
He positioned himself in such a way that he was exactly in the middle of the two doors that would allow me to exit the closet.
He cried harder.
He screamed.
I then began to fear that he was hurt somehow, as he does not normally cry like this.
I tried to get out.
I could not.
I yelled for PaPaw.
Which was tough, as my voice was muffled, coming through the crack of a door, and trying to project over the sounds of a screaming toddler.
I did not panic...I kept trying.
Somehow, PaPaw heard me, and came to the rescue.

Poor kid.

He was just about hysterical, closing his momma in the closet.
And I couldn't stop laughing.

My kid will either be extremely sensitive, or will have a wicked awesome sense of humor.

I hope it's the latter.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

UPDATED//This is going to have to be random.

Ready for a random post?

I have upstairs neighbors, if that is indeed the correct terminology. They walk. They move chairs. They play on their pogo stick. They train to be ninja turtles.
I think.
I have learned to tune them out.
But I would like to note here, for the record, that they become increasingly active right after I put Aiden to bed. And that makes me feel stabby.

I can tell if I'm moving along on schedule by when I hear the neighbor's shower turn on.
This is the only noise I hear from my direct neighbors that I share a wall with.
They are awesome.
Unless it's the upstairs people again.
We'll never know.

It's super odd, but NO ONE has been in 4F since I posted my blog about it.
Did they read my blog and become scared?
Did they move out?
Did they give up?

I put my cardi on inside out today and didn't realize it until I got to work.


I worked out for the first time in for.ev.er on Saturday, and my calves are still sore.
I also got to have lunch with my brother!
I was really productive that day.
Not to mention, I bought a pair of shoes that were originally for the 2nd wedding, but...as it turns out, I may not even be wearing them.
Hopefully they go with a dress or something.

Look, I'm sorry. I don't have anything to write about this week.
Someone asked me why I hadn't blogged, and I explained to them that I really had nothing to write about.
I told them that last week, I started a blog entry comparing binder clips to paper clips. He agreed that I had nothing to write about.
This just won't do. 

One last thing:

I have a cardi, jewelry, and a dress to wear to the 2nd wedding, but no shoes.
I even have an appointment to spend $74 on my hair and makeup for the day of the wedding.
Any chance the bride will let me go barefoot?

4F came back. He/she must have been on vacation.
They probably needed a break from all the parking lot stress.
One can only assume these things.
Either way, I'm a little jealous.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

The tale of 4F.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Cross eyed mosquitoes & Bowlegged Squirrels:
I tell you a tale, this story is true!
...I don't remember how the rest goes. I am old.
But seriously, the following events totally happened to me, and it led to some very frustrated rants toward Aiden's Papaw/Aiden's GaGa/various Seeestors/anyone who would listen.

I signed my lease to my apartment on August 31st.
It was on this very day that I stepped in, looked around, and quite appreciated what I saw.
The apartment manager lady, we'll call her Alice, told me to check back with her regarding where I should park.
I agreed, I was entitled to a place to park. Covered parking is one of the many amenities included in my 12 month apartment lease. Other amenities include a swimming pool and a fitness center. And now you want to be my best friend. It's fine. Come on over. Call first though. I frequently walk around in my underwear.
I'm kidding.
Now, enjoy the rest of your day wondering if I just told the truth or not.
Hanyway, she told me to park in 4F, and I smiled and nodded, and noted the parking space in my "Notes" app in my cell phone.

The next day was moving day. While pulling the truck around with Aiden's Papaw, I notice a maroon volvo parked in 4F!
I think, "OHMYGOODNESS, one of two things has gone horribly wrong here!"
I figured that either a) the volvo was an asshole who just parked in a random place, or b) I noted the wrong parking space.
I decided not to write the volvo off as an asshole just yet.
I could park in an uncovered spot for a weekend, right?
So I did.
The volvo stayed in my space all weekend long.

The following Tuesday (since Monday was Labor Day), I called the office to confirm my parking space.
Volvo is an asshole.
Alice said I could write volvo a note, informing him that this spot was taken, and that if he didn't move I could cut him.
I made that last part up...unless you replace the word "cut" with the word "tow".

I never wrote him a note. I decided, instead, to beat him home from work one day.
And that I did.
And the next morning, I had a note on my car:

"Please, please do not park in my parking space."

It was on a yellow sticky note, and it was taped to my windshield.

I called Alice again, to verify again that my little car belongs in 4F.
She said yes.
She told me to let her handle the problem.
So I trusted her to do just that.

Then, Friday night, after dropping Aiden off, I parked in my parking space, went inside to shower and beautify, then came back to my car to meet some friends.
Another note, furiously taped to my driver side window:

"2nd notice. Please don't park in my space, I WILL have you towed."


This time I wrote volvo a note and left it when I got home:

"My sincere apologies. I was told this was my parking space. So. Um. It appears we have a misunderstanding."

I thought surely it was friendly enough and explained that he needed to seek assistance for this matter, just as I had.

Yesterday, I parked in 4F while eating lunch at home.
I ate.
I watched New Girl.
I took my trash out.
I got the mail.
I went back to my car.
I had a huge sticker on my windshield from the apartment manager, Alice, telling me I was illegally parked, and that if I didn't move, I would be cut. (Again, substitute "cut" for "tow")

While trying to pull the sticker off, I called Alice. Again.
I told her that I received a nice sticker present while parking in the space that she told me to park. Three times.
At first, before I explained the fact that she told me to park there, Alice sounded sort of fussy/all knowing, like, "Why is this person complaining when they were in the wrong?"
I explained to her that I just wanted this whole mess sorted out.
I just wanted to know where to park.
I told her where I live.
She took to the parking space assignment page again (4th time, for whoever is keeping count...).
"Oh. I see what happened here."

As it turns out, 4F belongs to two different apartments. According to their sheet.
They told me the wrong place.
Three times.

The good news is:
This is all sorted out, after nearly two weeks of living there.
My REAL spot is closer to my apartment.

The bad news is:
I keep expecting another note on my "real" spot.

And that's my tale.
That totally happened.
But it's over now.
My mazda sits happily in 5E.
For now.

Monday, September 10, 2012

I fail at [blogging] life.

I have this super awesome plan for a super awesome saga of events that have unfolded since moving.

But here's the thing: I'm waiting on an end to one saga before I can post it.
That's right...a week and two days into my new apartment, and a saga that started on day one is still not over.
If I know you on a personal level, you probably already know the saga I'm referring to.
It's still very important that I wait until it's over to inform you.
You understand.

Okay. The saga is a post in itself.

Here's what's been going on:

*I still don't have cable. Or internet, for that matter. The internet *should* be hooked up by tomorrow, but who really knows? The good news is, I have the patience of a bald eagle. Are bald eagles patient? Dunno. But it just fits that sentence so well. So.

*Aiden is adjusting. When I first set him down in the new place, he immediately saw the Cars dvd on my tv stand (sofa table-I just recently learned what that is...), then saw his tonka truck, so he was okay. The sleeping thing though? Didn't come easily. He woke up at 7AM both days of the weekend when I first moved in, and then had a shaky time sleeping the rest of the week. We're getting there. We're crossing our fingers with bated breath, or however the saying goes.

*Leftovers are my new best friend. Buying lunchmeat was also unnecessary, though I did enjoy a turkey sammich with some pepperoni's from last week's homemade pizza adventure. With a side of risotto from Saturday. NOM.

*It took me a week to figure out how to open my mailbox. You have to stick your tongue out, lift up your left leg slightly, and face toward the north, all while jiggling and turning the key at the same time. That is all true except for the whole part before the jiggling and turning the key.

*I've been over at le parent's house every day I've been gone. Pretty much. Okay, except two days, I think. Maybe three. Get off my back, I don't know the exact details. The point is, Paul and I are cooking for one (and a half) these days, so we share our meals some days.

*I'm teaching myself to budget money. The key is: don't spend money on anything, ever. See? I'm a quick learner.

*I may or may not be hanging out with a boy, but since I get freaked out about jinxing things, that's all I can possibly tell you at the moment. Unless you demand details. And then I will be forced to tell you. But, it's nothing official at this point, so there's not much to tell. So hush.

*I found the best white (whole wheat) corn tortillas at United. I don't remember the brand, but Paul and I both love them. And I'm not even a corn tortilla kinda gal, normally, but these converted me.

That's all I have for now.

Be good. :)

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

We The People

This post is a result of a conversation via email I had with my dear friend Andrea weeks ago regarding politics and how they suck and we're sick of hearing about it, and WHY haven't they come up with a "compromise" party yet?

I never realized until recently how liberally I was raised. It's not just your parent's influence anymore, you learn at an early age about Rosa Parks, and Martin Luther King JR, and the Women's Rights movement. Your teachers drill it into your head that everyone should be treated the same, no matter what their color or sex is. And yet, this battle is still fought, and is no more apparent than election year.
So, I'm a pretty liberal person. Mostly, I mean...I'd say I'm a liberal in my own mind, but I've had Conservative influences. I AM a Texan, after all.

Election year pisses me off. We're getting right down to it, y'all, and I'm getting more irritated by the day.
So irritated, in fact, that I'm blogging about it.

I didn't vote in 2008. It was a combination of not being registered in the county I was living in, but also the fact that I am completely fed up. And not with the candidates, with everyone's bitching.
You read it more and more now, too. You can't avoid it. I learned recently that even the news is either liberal or conservative, so you can't hide from it there either.
And with the way information is over-shared in today's social media, what can you do, except boycott all forms of it until forever? You can't delete someone on facebook for not agreeing with your political stance, no matter how often they post anti-Obama articles. Just like you can't delete them for their terrible grammar. But that's a separate issue.

I will vote this year. I am registered, and I am opinionated, and dammit, I'm going to put it out there.

I will vote, and whatever is going to happen will happen, regardless of what everyone is posting on my facebook and twitter now, and what they will ultimately post after.

We The People, of the United States...will vote someone into office to represent our nation.
We The People, over time, have made it so that no ONE person can make any/all decisions for this whole country. It's called the three branches of government. See also: Checks and Balances.
We will bitch about whoever gets elected. We will fill your newsfeed with hateful statements, because our country allows us to do so. So, we'll use our freedom of speech to gripe about our leader.
We will blame this one person for every single thing that goes wrong while they're in office.
We will over analyze every statement this person ever makes.
We will watch this person's every move, looking for any sign of imperfection.

This, people...is bullshit.

But...that's just my opinion.

End Rant.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

2 days!

Ladies, and gents, the moment we have all (and when I say we, I mean me) been waiting for is coming in two days.

Move Day.

I'm signing my lease tomorrow afternoon, and plan on waking up very early on Move Day to ensure that I have had enough caffeine, and that my little movers (Andrea, Scott, Paul, and le Father- if he can come) have breakfast food ready when they arrive at Casa De Gaga e Papaw.

Paul laughs at me for making a big production out of Move Day, but it's not just about moving-it's my last morning to wake up in Casa De Gaga e Papaw.
Yes, I will insist on calling their house this from this point further.
No, I don't find it ridiculous at all, why do you ask?

My mother, Gaga, or Grandma if you're no fun, is going to be hanging out with Aiden all day while the little movers work. She's a champ.

I have been packing little by little all week, but I always procrastinate, so I'm sure that Friday night will be a late night, as I will be getting last minute stuff shoved into boxes. Packing party at Casa de Gaga e Papaw's!

So, that's all that has been going on with me this week...move, move, move, move.
Oh, and getting my new pizza cutter in the mail. That was exciting.
I think it's actually a dough cutter/scraper with the word pizza on it but...to each their own. It will serve many purposes in my new little kitchen. I cannot tell you how long I've been wanting a scraper. Probably ever since I first saw one.

So, to close up the pack/move portion of this chapter in my life, I've composed a list of demands for my new apartment that absolutely are not needed, just wanted, because I'm a woman and can never be satisfied.
And here it is:
1) A kitchen torch. Because you know why.
2) The new Charlie book by Ree Drummond, set to hit stores this fall.
3) $600 total for a pet deposit. C'mon. You want to.
4) A kitten.
5) A visit from the dog whisperer to advise me on how to teach Layla to use a litter box.

See? I'm easy to please.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Brunch. I like that shit.

Why has no one informed me of a good brunch place in Wichita Falls?
Is there such thing?
Besides IHOP?

I had brunch for the first time in Galveston, and maybe I'm obsessed with the concept.
What constitutes brunch?
Is it just brunch because of the time you eat it? Or is what you eat?

That's it.

I will be cooking brunch every weekend possible after I move.

As soon as I learn how to poach an egg.
PW showed me how once...or there's some kind of kitchen gadget you can buy for that. Probably not the same, though...
Anyway, Anna's Kitchen will feature all kinds of benedict's.
And lots of bacon.
If you're sweet, you're invited. The end.

Okay, so here's my plan:

Unless I have a change of heart between now and Friday, I have planned to live without cable for as long as possible.
I cannot, however, live without internet.
That is not okay.
So, I'm on the hunt for internet providers.

I still don't have dining room chairs, but I'm okay with that for now.
I have also decided on finding some kind of sofa table or something for my tv instead of a tv stand...because a table is higher up. You get it?

I'm glad we had this talk.

Friday, August 24, 2012

1 week & 1 day

I still check my stats daily, y'all.

Someone did inform me of how all that works (and by "all that" I mean, how a person looking at filmhill.com could possibly get to my blog.), and actually I still don't get it, but I'm okay with it.

It's been a busy week, and I've had nothing to write about. I'm sorry.

If you can't say anything interesting, don't start a blog, amiright??

Except I did make brownies from scratch for the first time last night.

I have two bridal showers this weekend.
Two lovely ladies are saying their "I-do's" a week apart from the other in October. Both ladies are very dear to me, though they don't know eachother.
Unless they met once and didn't tell me.
Sneaky bitches.

I'm leaving tonight to stay at one of those Sneaky Bitch's houses. Because her shower is actually a brunch thing, and it's hard to make yourself appear collected at a brunch if you had to drive two hours to get there.
At least it is for me.
And for christ's sake, it's the weekend.
Let me sleep a little more than usual.

I had a bad lunch date today, so I won't be seeing him again ever ever ever ever.

I am moving in one week and one day.

I am in need of some dining room chairs.

And artwork or something to decorate with.

.........Curtains. Ug.

I need more coffee. Then I will be done with the beverages until later.

I'm sorry that I'm boring today.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Page Views

My fellow bloggers:

Have you ever viewed the stats from your blog views?
It's quite interesting.

For instance: My blog has 7 views from RUSSIA.
I will not rest until 140% of Russia is reading my blog.
That is a joke...and if you don't get it, you aren't a 9gagger.
It's fine.

I also draw a large crowd from filmhill.com, which, after extensive research (me just googling it), I found that filmhill.com is a place to pirate movies. Like still in the theatre.
Figured I'd plug that there for all 8 of my filmhill viewers. HOW DID YOU GET TO MY PAGE FROM THERE?

I find it impressive that I draw a crowd other than my family at ALL, since...I don't promote my blog anywhere.
Not facebook.
Not twitter.
Not even instagram, which I luff.

But really, what I would like to say is that...when looking at the map of where my pageviews are coming from, Alaska is highlighted as views coming from there.
There is no way to tell if they're actually from Alaska, or if my view count is counting them as 'Merica.

But if you ARE from Alaska, and you ARE who I think you are:

We finally meet! Sort of!
Huge fan! Kinda? Okay, actually what it is ... is that... I do an awesome impersonation of you.
When my hair was brown it was uncanny.
I got REALLY good at it during the last election, but seeing as how there's less of a demand for people who talk like you down 'round these here parts, I stopped...and now it's rusty.
Don't get your feelings hurt. It was all in the name of fun.
For us anyway.
For the record, I didn't vote that year.
So, I didn't vote FOR you, nor AGAINST you.
But I was totally rooting for Obama.

Now that I got that out of the way...
I can tell you that it is raining. (Well it was...)
This rain comes as a direct result of me washing my car on Monday.

You're welcome, Wichita Falls.

Still sick.
Tattoo getting better.
Going to visit my grandma and pick up a couch this weekend. :D
So all is well in Anna-land.
Minus the being sick.

Monday, August 13, 2012


I have been sick more this past year than ever ever ever before.
I'm pretty sure it's due to the fact that my son entered daycare and now carries home every disease introduced in every household in Wichita Falls.
I'm exaggerating.
His daycare is not that big.
I still blame daycare though.

Anyway, I started feeling a bit puny Saturday, but it didn't hit me until approximately 24 minutes before Katy arrived at my hizzie.
So, I took some tylenol and moved on with my life.
Sort of.
Not really.
I'm such a pansy when I'm sick.
So we went ahead and got me some DayQuil while we were out that afternoon.

Katy demands three things every time she visits:
Charming Charlie.

The times she visits are the only times that I do any of those things.
For the most part.
Sometimes I do get a wild hair and decide to venture to Ganache.
Not the point.

Our afternoon consisted of Katy's demands and then Target, and then we got ready for Saturday night.

We are never bored.

Saturday night my cold thing or whatever in the world it is hit me hard.
I hate being sick.
I hate being sick.

Sunday at noon, I went and got my tattoo.
I had an appointment at Artistic Ink, which is by the base.
I had never been to this tattoo place, but my Cowboy friend said that's where he goes so...off we went.
The place is clean.
The place is charming.
The place does not make you fear infection.
These are all very important, in my eyes.

Originally, the tattoo was supposed to go on my neck...on the back...sort of at my hairline.
Once I saw what Brad the Tattoo Artist drew up, I decided that it was too big to be on my neck.
So then I had to decide sort of on the spot where to put this tattoo.
When I mentioned my ribs, Brad the Tattoo Artist sort of made a face, and told me he'd rather put it on my neck.
The ribs hurt.
I know this because...that is where my tattoo ended up.
Brad the Tattoo Artist is awesome, though.
He talked about how Tattoo Artists forget how much tattoos hurt, and as a result sometimes show no mercy.
He knew the guy who did my last tattoo.
We agreed that he is one of the nicest people on planet earth.
He let me know what he was doing while he did it.
These things are good things to know.
A huge thanks to Brad the Tattoo Artist.

Now the worst part is over, and I just have to deal with the stinging pain every time I clean it.
Well worth it, though. I am so happy with it.

I may post a picture in a few days, when it's not so...new. And red.

Until then...

Thursday, August 9, 2012


I tweaked my blog's look a little.

It was quite fun playing, and now I'm satisfied.

Just an update:

This weekend Katy is coming in to town, and we're going out for Linny's birthday. Location TBA.

I am going to attept to re-create The Mosquito Benedict as pictured in my previous blog.

I am also getting another tattoo on Sunday.

Have I mentioned how rough it is transitioning into 5 day weeks?
So worth it, though.
Vacations should be mandatory.

Another part of my Vacation Hangover is that Keeley, Katy, and I have an ongoing group text where basically we tell each other how much we miss everyone and how much we want to move to Galveston.

Enough about the vacation. I promise.

Now, you'll have to listen (read?) about the apartment.
For approximately four more weeks. And then I will leave you alone about it. Scouts honor.
If we were in England, it would be "Scouts Honour".
Do they have the scouts?
I guess my point was, they put random U's in words.
I have a friend who's parents are British...or maybe just one. I don't know. Anyway, he used to always text things about flavour, or colour. Did you know that? Little bit of trivia.
Also, realize is spelled "realise". So. If someone misspells it, just assume they are British and move on with your life.
Unless he is just really a terrible speller and is pulling the British card because he knows I don't know any better.
Little did he know, I'd turn around and try to drop the knowledge on my poor blog readers.

WOW, I can get off topic.
I would be a terrible teacher.
But a class favourite.
Did you catch my extra u?
If you did, you get a cookie for attention to detail.

I have TWO bridal showers to attend in two weeks. TWO. As in one Saturday, and one Sunday.
Please say a little prayer for me.
Or happy thoughts.
Or xanax.

For my foodie friends, you should know that I finally made some risotto last night.
And I had never had it. Never.
And you know what?
I don't know if I did it right or not...since I've never had it.
But it was pretty damn good.

I think that's all for now. Nothing else too exciting is going on.


Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Vacation Pictures. :)

This is Beach, Day one. This is from the Seawall. This is beautiful. End of story. (This was actually in response to a text message I got from my mother, asking how the weather was. Bwahahaha.)

This is a black bean burger. I have yet to find another since I've been back. I have not looked, though. Notice my avacado and pico addition to said black bean burger. It was so...so...so good. (This can be found at The Spot in Galveston, TX.)

This is the Galveston Bay. I took this picture from my table at the Cadillac Bar on the Kemah Boardwalk. Kemah Boardwalk is one of the top 10 in 'Merica, and is located on the mainland, about 30-esque miles from Galveston Island.

This is some of a Corona-Rita. If you have not yet experienced one, and you are a fan of Corona and/or Margaritas, this is a must. I should have taken a photo of the drink when it came out, but I was very...thirsty. So. Anyway, if you've never seen one, it's a margarita with a Corona in it. Bottle and all. So, as you're drinking your marg, you get a little Corona.Very tasty. 

Let me tell you about this little beauty. This is from The Mosquito in Galveston, TX. It is called The Mosquito Benedict. It is served on a chive scone, with shrimp, artichokes, asparagus, and mushroom, and of course-poached eggs with hollandaise sauce. Served with your choice of side-I chose roasted potatoes. I cannot say enough about this, at all. Except that it's one of those dishes that you don't care how full you are, you're going to keep eating until it's gone or until they whisk you away. On an ambulance. 

Beach-Day Two. Up close and Personal. SEE MY KNEES?! They were later scraped on the ocean floor when I was trying to attack Katy for putting sand in my drawers. 

This is where we ate Dinner Saturday night. I think it's neat that they have the message board. Also, Congrats to Yousef and Nadia, wherever you are. 


Asparagus. Rice Pilaf. OH, and...Tilapia with Lump Crab meat, Mushrooms, and a white wine Cream Sauce. Thanks. 

This is was my first time eating this. How was it?

You be the judge. 

Lemon Rosemary Martini. Pretty name...strong drink. I poured it out. I'm not man enough for that drink. 

Brunch on Sunday morning. Salmon Filets with...poached eggs and hollandaise. Side of potatoes. Can you tell I was into eggs benadict that weekend? This was at The Sunflower Cafe in Galveston, TX. Three thumbs up! 

We didn't do much else on Sunday, except walk up and down the Strand. Then drove home, where I spent some quality time with...


And there you have it ! Pics from my trip. 

You're welcome.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Vacation Hangover

This is the first week back to real life from vacation.
Insert my saddest face ever here.
But really, does everyone feel this depressed when they come back from vacation? Yes? Thought so.
I have the "I would much rather be at the beach or tasting amazing food" blues.
Because....okay, I didn't do much beach laying, honestly. I spent most of my time at the beach in the water. The time spent on the actual beach resulted in a sunburn which has now turned into a tan.
Pretty cool, huh?

I can't imagine how much worse it would be if I had gone to, say, Florida.
Or California.
Or London.
Actually, scratch the London idea. Too much going on there right now.

But still. I got to spend time with my best friend, and got to know my other friend Keeley even better.
She's the sweetest girl in the whole wide world, I'm sure of it.
And she put up with Katy and I for three whole days, so...obviously she's gold as far as friends go.

The only bad part of vacation is that now I have learned of the awesomeness of Beaver Nuggets.
Beaver Nuggets come from Buc-ee's.
Buc-ee's is the mother of all convenient stores.
In fact, I believe I dubbed it "The King of Convenience" in earlier times.
But that was before I tasted Beaver Nuggets.
Now, Buc-ee's is simply, "The Home of Beaver Nuggets".
And until you taste Beaver Nuggets, you cannot possibly understand why I'd devote an entire paragraph to junk food.
And if you have tried them, you will understand. You will nod your head knowingly. You will pity me for only  having half a bag left. You will ignore that I didn't say that I STILL have half a bag. You would understand.
Do you get it? They're awesome.

Okay, so here's the skinny:

Now that I'm back from vacation I am in full speed ahead mode as far as the apartment is concerned.
I spent a nice sized chunk of money yesterday at Target on towels and kitchen gadgets...and bathroom necessities. Like a shower curtain. And rugs. And a soap dispenser.
I've decided on colors for my kitchen and bathroom.
Living room decor TBA.
Happy colors though, is the main focus.
Or calm. I like calm.
In the past, everything has been red. And I do mean everything.

I see a trip to IKEA in my near future. Any takers?
No? K, fine.

Monday, July 16, 2012

UPDATED! Do you even know what you're getting yourself into?

This week I want to discuss the awesomeness of Obamacare with you.

But not really, because that subject is touchy as hell, and if you're going to argue with me, I'd rather have my shit straight. Capish?

But actually, what I really wanted to say was...I'm going on vacation July 27th, and I couldn't be more excited.
I have had these details planned for about two months.
I am a planner, after all. It's what we do.
Kemah Boardwalk on Friday.
Galveston on Saturday.
Chillax on Sunday. Preferably while taking a nice, long look at the Galveston Bay.
I have been saving money, even.
And any money left over (if any) can and will be used to buy stuff for my new apartment.

Speaking of which, I keep coming across little things I'm going to need for le apartment.
For example, last night I realized I'd need a microwave.
I'm still fuzzy on the furniture situation.
I know I have a loveseat.
It's just that...my life has become so structured that if I don't have a definite day that something is going to happen (such as furniture availability) I get kinda squirmy and start looking at just purchasing it to avoid the hassle of sitting on the floor.
At least Aiden has his camping chair.
That's not WT, right?
Oh, cool. I don't have a bed.
Someone tell me to chill.

Aiden was sick last week.
In the middle of summer.
I wonder if his body realized he's been in Wichita Falls for a year now, and was literally...sick...of it?
He is half Rosston, after all.

Seriously, someone find me a friggin bed.


I do, in fact, have a bed.
Please, everyone, just chill the eff out.
Oh, it was just me panicking? Alright then.

You know that expression "timing is everything"?
Well, it's 100%ish true. I say ish because - as you know, there's always that one debbie downer who will disagree with me, and now they can't. Ha.

Anyway, I have an awesome seeeeestor/family friend (Andrea) who's getting married in October, so they're getting lots of new shit.
And I'm moving in September.
Anyway, some way or another I will have a bed.
And stuff.

I also found a printable list of stuff you need for any first apartment.
It makes me panic a little.
But not really because everyone keeps telling me not to.

So, here it is. I have my own apartment.
That is getting brand new carpet and tile.
Moving in September 1st.
I have left ample room in my budget for internet, so we can continue having these conversations.

Because I know you'd miss me.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Not suitable for the mature.

Random thoughts.
Written by Anna.
Published by Anna.
Edited by no one.
Dedicated to anyone who gets all the way through to the end without rolling their eyes and thinking, “Okay, she’s completely lost it this time, y’all haul her to the funny farm.”
Inspired by all the random blogs I read on the internet that make me feel like it’s okay to show you people who I really am, if you don’t already know it by now.

Are y’all still there?

I’ve stopped reading 9gag*, and instead I read insane mommy blogs.
And by insane, I mean moms like me who drink and swear.
Actually, I’m pretty sure that’s the name of one of them…”Moms who drink and swear.”
Google it.
The problem with drinking is that sometimes your kid wants a drink of your beer.
The problem with swearing is obvious…they repeat it.
This has not happened so far.
That’s a total lie. It happened for the first time last night. I laughed until tears came out of my eyeballs.
Last time I laugh at that…promise. For all you momma police out there.
But, in my defense, I had dropped food on the floor. Delicious food.
I wanted that…
I’m still grumpy about it, actually.
Side note: by drinking, I mean I have one beer, for heaven’s sake.
On the week nights.
Don’t get your panties in a bunch.
*9gag refers to www.9gag.com, which is a website full of funny and inappropriate photos with captions, aka- memes.
I used to read them while I dried my hair in the morning.
But I’ve taken to showering at night in place of sleeping in the next morning.
It doesn’t matter if you wanted to know that or not, it’s right there. Boom.
I thought we were past adding people you don’t know on facebook? Why do people still do this? Is it rude to ask them if you know them? If you don’t get an answer back, does that mean no? Ugh. Facebook politics.  Add that to the reasons I prefer twitter. It grows every day. The list that is…maybe not twitter. Probably twitter. Hell, I don’t know.
Is biking an adequate form of exercise? I haven’t been to the gym in weeks.
Add instagram to my list of obsessions on the internet.
I looked at an apartment yesterday. How do you know a place is right for you, though? I don’t think in my case I can expect to see the place I’m actually going to live in until like…move in day, because I’m not planning on moving in until September-ish. So I have time to save and collect necessities.
Luckily, I have little scouts out, collecting such things for me, so that when the time comes, I don’t panic about not having an ironing board…even though I have not used an ironing board in years.
It’s okay though. Maybe I’ll start.
Anyway, the point is, it’s scary, but it’s time.

I’ve lived in Wichita Falls for a whole year-officially.
On the 27th, it’ll be a year at my job.
My boss suggested we have cake.
He doesn’t remember that I am taking vacation on that day.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

This is what gives me my jollies.

First of all:
Can one of you people please teach me how best to post pictures to this thing?? That would be awesome. My stories are so much better if I can show you things.


This is where I get my kicks lately:

*Aiden trying to communicate. You have to nod and laugh.
*My Texas Rangers at-bat playlist
*My Magic Mike Soundtrack playlist
*Diet Dr. Pepper
*Food from the grill
*The Fourth of July, which covers the family and smiles.
*Getting my bridesmaid dress ordered, and having already paid for it
*New sunglasses
*My friend Travis's dog, Chewie. He is a yorkie. I want one.
*Fitting into my old favorite shorts. Sort of.
*Owning more Rangers tshirts than any other kind of tshirt, ever
*Twitter (still)
*Mike Napoli going to the All Star game!!!
*The Rangers owning the all star team in general. That's awesome.
*People teaching me how to post pictures to my blog so I can SHOW Y'ALL THINGS
*Random blogs found on the internet
*Rainer Cherries

Did I mention Stumbleupon? I like it so much more than twitter.

And. That's all I have to say about that. :)

Monday, June 25, 2012

The Battle

"One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, ‘My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all.One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.’
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: ‘Which wolf wins?’
The old Cherokee simply replied, ‘The one you feed.’"

Aint it the truth?
Isn't this a battle most of us fight?
I don't want to preach. I just promised a more honest blog.
And this is what's on my mind tonight. Honestly.

Here's the thing:
I fight this battle every day.
I'm not perfect. Sometimes the evil wolf wins.
A month ago that wolf won just about every day.
I fed that wolf. I did it for months. The good wolf pretty much sat on the sidelines at one point, offering advice, but I never took it.
I knew what I was doing. I just couldn't stop.

I don't know what finally happened, honestly.

Maybe it was the day I started really questioning myself.
Maybe it was the day I told myself that I needed a change.
Maybe it was the day I forced myself to see the good.

Carrie Underwood (who I normally cannot stand) has a song on her latest album.
I won't quote the entire thing, because it doesn't all apply to me, but basically...the chorus is:

As bad as it was, as bad as it hurt
I thank God I didn’t get what I thought that I deserved
Sometimes life leads you down a different road
When you’re holding on to someone that you gotta let go
Someday you’ll see the reason why
Sometimes, yeah sometimes, there’s good in goodbye

After listening to this song, I forced myself to begin to look at the good in my goodbye.
Was there such a thing?
Did I do the right thing?

These are questions I still ask myself.
It would be so simple if we did not have a child involved, but really...and I never saw myself as the family type, but that is something that would bring me great joy. For my family to be together. That's the dream, right?

But then I realized that my family doesn't necessarily have to be me, Aiden, and his daddy.
Maybe I can still have my fairy tale.
I don't want perfect. I want to not feel like I'm bending over backward for someone who is unwilling to do the same.

I'm learning the difference between standing up for myself and being a straight up bitch.
Maybe sometimes, in certain situations, those two wolves can work together.
Most of the time I will speak my mind, although I am learning to choose my battles.

Some people choose to let the evil win. They choose to feed the mean wolf who just brings them down further, and they don't even see it. At least I was aware of what I was doing.

It's easier to see when other people are doing this to themselves now.
But in the end, it's their choice.
It's my choice, dammit.
I will struggle with it tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. I will struggle with it for a while probably.
I'm okay with that.
I know what makes me happy. I know that I will have bad days. I know I will not always understand why things had to happen the way they did, but it's okay. I don't have to right now.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Random on Sunday Morning

I've found that twitter is a little more fun than facebook these days, for the following reasons:
-Twitter doesn't have stock that I know of
-There aren't constant rumors that Twitter will start charging
-I can creep on Mike Napoli
-I don't feel as censored.
-...I can post the random thoughts that go on in my head and not feel weird about it.

This really makes me think of all the facebook crap that's getting on my nerves as well. For example...the fact that you can see all the stuff your friends "Like" or comment on.
The shit they're commenting on or liking may or may not be for my eyes to see.
Also, it brings in this issue of people creating accounts and making stuff like..."'Like' if you're not racist!" or "'Like' if you think this girl that has cancer and is bald is beautiful!"
I mean come on.
I'm not racist. And that girl is gorgeous, and strong. But I'm not going to clog up my friends' news feed about it.
And if only I could get ahold of Zuckerberg...I'd punch him in the stomach.
But not really. That's assault. 
And that's what I have to say about that.

Also, I got a promotion, sort of.
Is it a promotion if you just accept more responsibility?
And go to salary?
So there's that.

My son's daycare lady said she thinks that Aiden may be hitting his terrible 2's early.
...And I'm all. Well hell. That does make sense.
Or, if the 2's are worse, then I am in for it.
Really, he's not that bad. Promise. It's just that, he cries for extended periods when he doesn't get his way, and now SCREAMS. Not like the newborn scream of pain or whatever, it's just frustration or something, I guess. I don't know. I never had a kid before.

I found a gallon sized mason jar at Target. Can't decide if I should buy it or not. What do you do with a gallon sized mason jar?
Besides store kool-aid in it?

I was happy with the American Idol results. Phil Phillips is my homeboy.

That is all for now. Aiden is going to see his daddy today and he's staying overnight...so...I'm staying in Sanger. And I need to pack. 

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

My Second Mother's Day

Please don't be misled by the title.
It was not my second Mother's Day period. Just my second to be an actual mother.
And get presents.(Although, technically, I got myself a present, and "Aiden" got me a coffee cup. -_-)
But, it was my third that people actually told me "Happy Mother's Day", since I was pregnant the first year.

Anyway, the roommates and I traveled to Sherman, TX to have M-day brunch at my aunt's, and to rescue Ryan's car from the car-fixer-place.
That's their actual name.

Okay, it's not.

And they're a body shop, so if anything mechanically was wrong with the car before, it's still wrong. Which would explain why we found it low on oil, and the battery completely dead.
No joke, y'all.
But we'll call that story Saturday, part 2.

We got to eat MG's, which is a Sherman, TX exclusive.
There was once an MG's in Denton, and I can't decide if they were trying to do the same kind of deal or not, but if they were, they failed miserably, because it's called something else now.
And they served gyros. Not just burgers.

We then traveled to Gander Mountain, where I spent my time chasing after my toddler.
He's just now to this age where I don't have to hold him everywhere we go, (thank you, baby Jesus) and he isn't interested in holding anyone's hand and being lead around, so if the particular place you're going doesn't have a cart, you end up chasing him around everywhere to make sure no one runs into him or he doesn't break anything too horribly expensive or what have you.
Later that day we did the same run around Belk.
I did find some pants before the chase, though.
It was probably for the best, too, since Belk sells Yellowbox shoes, and it's best for my bank account that I don't look too closely at such things.

The next day, I slaved endlessly over Pioneer Woman Cinnamon Rolls.
And when I say slaved, I mean it's really not too hard.
If you're patient.
And it's all worth it.
And I only ever allow myself to have one at a time.
And it's a requirement that I have some kind of breakfast meat with them, preferably bacon.
In fact, the next time I make them, I'm adding crumbled bacon before I cut them up.
Don't judge me. Admit you're jealous.
(I tried this once before, but Penny ate ALL the raw dough off of the counter while they were rising. I haven't said much to her since then.)
My cinnamon rolls inspired my aunt to talk to me about opening a restaurant together.
This would not be a bad thing. We even agreed on the hours of only breakfast and lunch.

No late nights for us! We're day people.

I also went to the Rangers Game that day.
To see my husbAnd.
And the rest of the Rangers.
And I got to see Cruz hit at Grand Slam.
And that. was the coolest thing ever.
And the lady I sat next to me laughed at me for getting over(?)excited about my husbAnd doing so well.
She was no fun at all.

Remind me to look into getting some TX Rangers Toms made.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Blog tired, edit never.

Ummmmm hi. Hello.
This is awkward. It's been months since I blogged.
Or anyone blogged, for that matter.
What happened to us?
Oh, life.
That's right.
You're forgiven.

Here's what's new:

Aiden walks like a real person. And runs.
And says Shoes.
And cheese.
And bye.
And car.
And rides his momma like a pony.
What a little weirdo. Already.
Also he loves to be read to. Especially his car books.
Also, gives kisses and hugs.
And there's nothing like a greeting from that one. He's insane.

I have the great pleasure (twitch) of more responsibility at work.
Which means.....job security.
Which means.......stress.
Which means......Xanax.
I think. 

I still work out.
Also I diet now.
Although I wouldn't call it a diet necessarily, since it's more of a change of eating habits.
I don't even remember how I used to eat now.
The bright side of it is that I've lost at least 20 pounds since I moved to Wichita Falls.
I say at least simply because I have no idea how much I weighed when I moved here.
I only know that I'm closer and closer to my pre-child weight. And that makes me happy.
Not to mention how happy it makes me that the internet is in existence, and there's eatingwell.com,  and that is where I discovered healthy(er) mac n cheese.
I know. I know. And it's SOOOO good. You just have to resist the temptation to pile on the cheese. That's the hardest part.

I really do plan on blogging more. Really.
And I plan on editing the content less.
I would like to preface future blog entries by getting this out of the way....
Shit. Damn. Eff. 
Sigh. There.
Turn away now if that is unacceptable.
If eff bothers you, I don't know why we're friends anyway. That's totally edited.

Goodnight, bitches.