Sunday, February 3, 2013

That moment when...

You know how sometimes you move into an apartment, and you decide that internet is more important than cable, so you go ahead and go without cable?"
And then as a result, you can't watch the superbowl, but it's not such a huge horrendous big deal, because HELLO, you've got the internet and social media to let you know how awkward it was that Beyonce stuck her lady junk in stranger's faces.
So you watch monster trucks with your son until he goes to bed, and then you're all, "Wow, it's 60 degrees in February, that's cause for some celebration!"
So you get out the cookies that you've been saving from last week that you baked because you were PMSing, but now you just sort of want to treat yourself for the tiring run you took (it made sense in your head). And then you decide "WHAT THE HELL, I live alone, and it IS 60 degrees out, I'll eat these cookies in my underwear like the single lady I am!"
And you take a sort of strange pride in this, and even tweet it, as sort of a HAHAHAH to those who are stuck watching the superbowl with their husbands or boyfriends or what have you. And you even get a reply to your tweet, a sarcastic "we should probably just get married right now." from your friend Shelby, who you went to high school with.
But then....OH and begin to eat said cookies, careful not to hit the canker sore that has formed on the roof of your mouth. But, the cookie has hardened some, and that cold sore is worse than it has been in days, so you hit it, of course, and want to cry-but instead you just use some rinse stuff your brother's girlfriend gave you. The rinse tastes disgusting and makes you hate not having cookies that much more.
And after the rinse you don't even want cookies anymore, because eff you, cookies!  If not for y'all then I wouldn't have thought to use this stupid rinse again in the first place!
So you just go back to watching Grey's Anatomy, like any normal night.

...That's never happened to you?

Uhm. *cough* Me either.

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