What are this?

Last night I had a dream that someone made me wear a costume made out of straws and help them back up perform Lady Gaga's song "Just Dance".

I knew the words better than them, so they were super bitchy toward me because whenever she stopped singing because she forgot the words, I sang so that there wasn't a gap in the music. And that made her mad, though I bet she was totally just mad at herself for not being as awesome as me.

...Anyway. If any of you people can figure out what that dream means please let me know.

I think it means Lady Gaga is due for another album. It's been two years.

Randomness, because this is 'Murica.

-The Fourth of July is next week! You must know, this is my favorite holiday. Maybe because I love summer? Maybe because I love bright lights and loud noises? Probably because I never grew out of loving to play with firecrackers. It also ranks next to St. Patty’s Day as my favorite holiday to dress up for. I have purchased ‘Murica shorts for the occasion.

-Am I the only one around here who doesn’t like their real smile? I read somewhere that you don’t like how you actually look, because it’s not how you see yourself-since you’re used to seeing the you that you pose for or see in the mirror. That’s deep, man.

-I still like twitter better than facebook.

-Wedding time is a week from tomorrow. Where did the time go? Will I still fit in my dress? Oh, please God, let me fit in my dress and still be able to breathe. No one laugh too hard if it splits up the back, okay? I’ll wear appropriate underwear, promise.

-Oh, Paula Deen. I don’t know what to think about you. But, let’s be honest here-I couldn’t stand to watch her show even before the scandal of her using the n-word. But let me say this: It’s my least favorite word. Nothing gets under my skin faster. Probably that and the f-word (as in the derogatory word for a homosexual man) can be completely gone from the English language as far as I’m concerned. There’s my opinion. These words are holding us back from true equality. Write this down.

-In closing, I don’t have much to say lately, and I’m sorry. I’ll get a blog topic in mind, and then I sit on it for a while, and then I’m all like, “no one will care about this…” but in truth, maybe you do. Keep in mind, also, it’s been a hell of a long month for me. I took a much needed family get away/vacation thing last week and just relaxed, and it was the most uneventful and wonderful weekend out of the month. 

Oh, Hello Blog.

I will update my blog more. I just will. I really will.

Okay. Glad I got that off of my chest.

You know what, y’all? I’ve been a busy little bee. I’m not even kidding. I can’t even believe it’s been as long as it has since my last update, because it seems like it was just yesterday.
Though it wasn’t.

Here’s what’s been going on:

I went to my first Ranger’s game of the season. They lost. I was disappointed at the boos for Hamilton, I really was. That’s not sportsmanship, you guys. I mean…I wasn’t even sad he left. Though I did wear my “Baseball Town” t-shirt with pride, and I did cheer when we struck him out…but I cheer when we strike anyone out. Maybe I did clap harder though…who knows. Anyway. It was a nice experience. Our seats were awesome, because they were indoor, so my mom could join us. And even though we were inside, they still had the “sounds of the ballpark” in surround sound throughout the place, so we didn’t miss out too much on the “crowd experience", which is my favorite part of going to the games.
My next game is next Friday (!!!), where I will join the crowd for real this time, and I am really excited. : )

I had a birthday. I am now a quarter of a century old. I can legally rent vehicles. I think that’s about it. After 21 it’s not so exciting, you just get older.
Which is something I’ve been saying since my 22^nd birthday.

On my birthday, I received a message from Aiden’s little brother’s mother, Lea, telling me happy birthday.
Anyone who knows me well knows that I had been struggling with issues with Aiden’s dad for quite a while, and I never felt completely better.
Until I started getting to know this girl.
Turns out? She’s a wonderful person, who I have a ton in common with.
We actually talk every single day now. I would consider her a good friend of mine.
Which…will be better for our kiddos.

And I am happier with that situation today than I have been in over a year.
It’s funny to me that that’s all it took.
But I know myself. I know I had to take that time for some self growth, and a lot of it was just getting over my pride. But look at me now-I let it all go and I feel so much better.
Not only that, it’s inspired me to just let all the other crap I've been holding on to go.
What’s that book title? “Don’t sweat the small stuff…and it’s all small stuff.”
Something like that.

Also, as I've said before, I have been very busy-so much that it seems like my constant, and I don’t actually notice how busy I am until someone tries to make plans with me and then it’s like OH SORRY, pick a day three weeks from now and I’ll pencil you in.
Just kidding. It’s not that bad.
I just do plan things on the weekends pretty far ahead of time, because I plan them according to whether or not Aiden is at his dad’s.
Write this down.

In other news, I started Tony Horton’s 10 minute trainer, which is just like P90x, but for busy peeps.
Peeps, as in people, not the disgusting Easter candy.
I discovered that I’m going to need a remote for my DVD player to make this work, so I have to go get one today. But I did do just the warm up last night, and broke a sweat from that.
That could also be because I haven’t done a SINGLE thing to work out since like March 13^th.
Le sigh.

And that’s a wrap. 

The Aiden Language, Exposed, Part Deux

I hope I spelled Deux right. It would totally ruin my life and blog if I didn't. 

Anyway. 

This post is about my child now pretty much asks for what he wants, which is awesome, because that whole trying to decipher what a cry means part of my life was scary and confusing. 

Now? He speaks. He tells you exactly what he wants, when he wants it. 

Or does he? 

Behold, a new list of Aiden-isms. Viewer Discretion Advised. 

Mine – Pronounced “Miiiiiinets!”. Whatever it is, you better give it now. I mean now. I wish to hold it for a minute, but only just so long. If you do not comply I will throw myself onto the ground for three minutes or however long it takes me to notice you’ve walked away. Note: This is especially harsh when it involves food.

Potty – Pronounced “Paw-eee”. I wish to trick you into thinking I’m closer to being potty trained, but really, I just wish to sit upon the throne whilst eye-balling the bath tub. I will casually suggest after a few moments that I need a bath. I will argue with you with a sweet smile about this, as you insist I need to potty. I don’t.

Bath – Pronounced “Bass”. Sometimes sounds like “bache”. I wish to sit in the warm water playing with my toys. Naked. Because that’s how God intended it. I think. Anyway, don’t you dare wash my hair. I mean it. That cup is for drinking bath water while you’re not looking, so if you so much as THINK of pouring that water on my head so help me…

Blanket – Pronounced “dane-det”. This is not meant for cuddling with momma. I wish to race my cars on the pattern of the blanket, so lay it out for me like a good momma. There. The lines in the blanket should make a road. There. Now go fetch me some cheese.

Night Night – Pronounced like it reads. Don’t be difficult. And you think you’re getting a nap? Ah. AHahahahah. No. I wish to cuddle in momma’s bed under her blankets and pretend to sleep for approximately 30 seconds, whilst fake snoring. I will perk my head up and insist that I “fix” your alarm clock. This involves pressing buttons, and changing the lighting settings which were previously set to automatically adjust to the lighting in the room. After I “fix” your alarm clock, I will lay back down and pretend to sleep again. This will go on until I announce it’s time to wake up. Then we will watch cartoons. Lucky you. 

A few things:

-I learned today that vinegar is good for a sunburn. It takes the heat out, leaving you with a beautiful tan. I learned this from my 92-year-old coworker/friend, who I was driving home from a Rehabilitation Center. So...if he says it, it must be true.

-I went and played this weekend, and now I can't wake up at all. I was hoping to clean today, butttt......

-Neither myself or Aiden's dad played any kind of sport growing up. So explain to me how the kid is already interested in playing catch? Also, he can distinguish baseballs from footballs. Kid's a winner.

-That being said, he's also two. TWO. Do you know of the "terrible two's"? Wanna babysit?

-It seems like a good idea in theory to cook pasta in the leftover broth from potato soup when the potatoes are gone, but it's really not. I am wanting to experiment more with cooking pasta directly in the sauce (the starch in the pasta thickens the sauce), but the result of this experiment was a VERY filling, starchy, goopy, only-kinda-good mess. Take note of that. When I perfect this, I may add it to the food blog.

-I think I forgot about my food blog. What food blog? Hum.

-Oh, that one. Okay. Well, I do have pictures on my phone for that. Le sigh.

-I picked out a very flattering black (floor length, don't worry) dress for C's hitchin' party. I got it on sale. It is the right color. It does not have to be altered (yet...here's hoping...). I was a winner that day.

-Yawn.

Update/List

Oh, an update! Okay.
Well, nothing's going on with me, except intentionally keeping busy.

In the month of January, I discovered that one of my favorite things is doing nothing at all. 
Which is sort of exactly like the entire movie "Office Space".
Anyway.

Also, one of my favorite things to do are things. 
My schedule has been quickly filling up, with hardly any effort on my part.
And I like it.

First there was the color run, which is March 2nd.
Cool.
Then, Oh, Miranda Lambert's coming to town? Sign me up!
Then, my weekends with Aiden got switched around and as it turns out, I'm free for Rednecks with Paychecks. Sweet.
Family camping trip the very next weekend? Of course!

Then there's the fact that my sister is getting married.
Also? Let's go ahead and have her checked out, because she's asked me to be maid of honor.
MOH for short.
I'll answer to Mo.
So add in activities for that, which so far include:
-Wedding Dress Shopping
-BM Dress Shopping
-Theater scoping (Theater wedding! We need ideas)
-BM/B dinner discussing dates for shindigs.

Le sigh.

I like it though.

And that's it for Anna World.

OH. EXCEPT.

I'm forming a list to entertain you with.

You're welcome.

That moment when...

You know how sometimes you move into an apartment, and you decide that internet is more important than cable, so you go ahead and go without cable?"
And then as a result, you can't watch the superbowl, but it's not such a huge horrendous big deal, because HELLO, you've got the internet and social media to let you know how awkward it was that Beyonce stuck her lady junk in stranger's faces.
So you watch monster trucks with your son until he goes to bed, and then you're all, "Wow, it's 60 degrees in February, that's cause for some celebration!"
So you get out the cookies that you've been saving from last week that you baked because you were PMSing, but now you just sort of want to treat yourself for the tiring run you took (it made sense in your head). And then you decide "WHAT THE HELL, I live alone, and it IS 60 degrees out, I'll eat these cookies in my underwear like the single lady I am!"
And you take a sort of strange pride in this, and even tweet it, as sort of a HAHAHAH to those who are stuck watching the superbowl with their husbands or boyfriends or what have you. And you even get a reply to your tweet, a sarcastic "we should probably just get married right now." from your friend Shelby, who you went to high school with.
But then....OH and then...you begin to eat said cookies, careful not to hit the canker sore that has formed on the roof of your mouth. But, the cookie has hardened some, and that cold sore is worse than it has been in days, so you hit it, of course, and want to cry-but instead you just use some rinse stuff your brother's girlfriend gave you. The rinse tastes disgusting and makes you hate not having cookies that much more.
And after the rinse you don't even want cookies anymore, because eff you, cookies!  If not for y'all then I wouldn't have thought to use this stupid rinse again in the first place!
So you just go back to watching Grey's Anatomy, like any normal night.

...That's never happened to you?

Uhm. *cough* Me either.

No title necessary, Bob.

I'm sorry I called you Bob.
Unless that is, in fact, your name. Then...hi Bob! Thanks for visiting Anna-land.

I've learned a few things about myself recently:

-(I think) I process stress physically. For instance, with deadlines approaching and much work to do, instead of crying or exploding on a random citizen, I just get short of breath. And increasingly irritable.

-More than one exclamation point really annoys me. I don't know why. But it's especially not okay when guys do it. I realized this was an issue when texting a friend of mine, "It will never work with so-and-so. He uses more than one exclamation point."

-I tan SUPER fast. Why? I think I'm some percentage Native American. But not enough to go to college for free. Le sigh.

-When I decide to work from home, I get tired faster.

-I may be a bit of a hypochondriac...My wrist hurt earlier this week, so I assumed that I was dying of carpal tunnel. So I went and bought a fancy wrist stabilizer thingy-ma-bob. But, to be fair, since I wore it that one day my wrist hasn't bothered me as much.

-When I'm tired, I'm EVEN MORE easily distracted.

-Yes, I'm aware that you can't die from carpal tunnel. I had a super annoying/painful case of it when I was pregnant with the tiny tornado (Aiden), and the most it ever harmed was my ability to brush my teeth. And type. And write.

-The easily distracted bit doesn't help with the whole "working from home" deal.

-I like to practice my handwriting, and have been pondering the theory that your handwriting can tell a lot about your personality. But...if you change your handwriting, does that change your personality? Hmm...

-I wrote this blog instead of working from home.

The Aiden Language, Exposed.

My son’s vocabulary had an explosion.

Before December 14, 2012, I could count the number of words the kid said on both hands. I was honestly worried about it. He wouldn’t say momma. He wouldn’t say daddy. He wouldn’t specify his beverage of choice, other than “juice”, which came out “douche”. That was good for laughs, at first.

On his second birthday, something had happened. He started talking. Maybe not precisely on the second birthday, but definitely around that time. One night, my mother was reading to him, and he randomly started naming off all of the characters in the book (which was, of course, a Cars book).

I’m having so much fun listening to him. I finally understand what people were talking about when they say you understand your own kid more than you would a strange one, because they kind of have their own words for things.

This is especially true in his names for the Cars characters.

But, for your reference, I have provided a full list of the Cars characters, according to Aiden:

“Cup” – Lightning McQueen

“Chow” – Lightning McQueen

“Mars” – Tow Mater

“Do” – Guido

“Sho” – Flo

“Damone” – Ramone

“Bed” – Red

“SaRsh” – Sarge (This is sometimes said in a lower, extremely hilarious voice. R is capital because of the special attention that letter is paid.)

“Kee” – King

“CHICK HICKS!” – Chick Hicks (yep, you guessed it. This is shouted.)

“Doc” – Doc Hudson

“Sah-ee” – Sally

“Eh-more” – Filmore

I’d also like to add that he doesn’t only talk about Cars. But in Aiden’s world, that is a legit list.

Also? “Shit” is Shirt. Just for clarification.