This is not a post for you. This is a post for me.

Random post.
Because it's been forever.
But I get inspired to blog more and more lately and today, a discussion with Cousin Mark broke the camel's back. Or something. How does that expression even go?

This could be a somber post for two reasons. One, I don't feel well today. Two, I just have the fog that a lot of people have been experiencing this week.

But first, the good news.

I'm excited that it's getting cold. It was a really long summer this year. My car's AC was out all. summer. long. It was awful.
I haven't cranked the heat on yet in the house, but I brought my houseshoes out from the back of my closet, so that makes me super happy.

Aiden and I are about to leave the house to go to his T-Ball party. I'm SO glad we did t-ball! I met some people through it, and I got to be their scorekeeper. I took my scorekeeper duties very seriously!
Remember the fog I mentioned? Those exclamation points seem like lies, but the sentiment is true.

Now for the bad.
And let me apologize if you have stumbled upon this post, because as the title states, this post is not for you. It really is just for me. I have had a lot of thoughts and I just want them smoothed out. So if you're still with me, understand that I'm not trying to preach at you.

I've blogged about politics in the past. I still feel that no one person can make or break this country, because I paid attention in school when we learned about checks and balances. I know that we will be okay. I know that running my mouth about how awful this person is does not do me or anyone else any good.
The best post I have seen said, "I hope Donald Trump is a good president. Wanting him to fail is like wanting the pilot to crash the plane that we ALL are on. REMEMBER THAT."
It's so true. I know that.

What's not okay is this aftermath. Whether its someone thinking its okay to act like a racist idiot, or burning the flag, or threatening to move to Canada, it's not okay.
It's not okay that people are so scared that calls to the suicide hotline have spiked. That hurts my heart so much.

I voted. I voted to vote against Trump, because I did not want him as my President. But I've already accepted that he WILL be, even if my peers haven't.
I can't watch everyone right now. I deleted all of my social media apps, because I just can't watch it anymore. I don't know if that's a special kind of denial, but a break from social media is never a bad idea.

I hope we heal. I have faith that we will.

To end on a positive note, I got a promotion this week. I will be a buyer. I'm so excited to learn something new, and the money certainly doesn't hurt. I won't officially start my new position until my current position is filled, but I'm really looking forward to it.

That's all, folks!

The Nothing

I haven't died, or given up my blog.
I have been busy, doing nothing.
It occurred to me tonight that I could share the nothing I've been doing, though. Maybe it's not nothing to you.
For a while, I watched lots of TV. I watched the entire (latest) series of Doctor Who, which means I had a lot of feels.
I got into Orange is the New Black.
I finished Gossip Girl.
I started working out again.
I got into the chive, and met some awesome people, and some not so awesome people.
I caught up on Grey's Anatomy.
I got Aiden stuck on such movies as "Frozen" and "Tangled".
I made Aiden a playlist of songs from movies he likes to sing in the car. He knows pretty much all the words to "Let it Go".
I moved.
I started a new job, which I love, even after eight months.
I tore through reading the "Divergent" series. I cried.
I read "The Book Thief". I cried more.
I read "#hashtag". No tears there. But, it was my first paperback in a long time, and it quickly took up residence in my purse.
I'm reading "The Fault in Our Stars". I've already had feels.
I'm backing off of social network.
I'm watching what I eat.
I'm enjoying the warm weather.
I'm smiling. I'm checking theBerry.com. I'm eyeing swimsuits.
I'm looking for a new tv series to get into, or letting it find me.
I'm being a homebody.
I'm spending my money on books.
I am loving the small town life.
I am loving where life has brought me, and wondering where I go from here.
I am loving being a mother, more than I ever thought.
I am loving the age of three,  as insane as that sounds.
I am wishing my boy could stay this little forever, while getting excited at all the "Big Boy" things he does.

So, maybe I haven't been doing nothing after all.
What have YOU been up to?

What are this?

Last night I had a dream that someone made me wear a costume made out of straws and help them back up perform Lady Gaga's song "Just Dance".

I knew the words better than them, so they were super bitchy toward me because whenever she stopped singing because she forgot the words, I sang so that there wasn't a gap in the music. And that made her mad, though I bet she was totally just mad at herself for not being as awesome as me.

...Anyway. If any of you people can figure out what that dream means please let me know.

I think it means Lady Gaga is due for another album. It's been two years.

Randomness, because this is 'Murica.

-The Fourth of July is next week! You must know, this is my favorite holiday. Maybe because I love summer? Maybe because I love bright lights and loud noises? Probably because I never grew out of loving to play with firecrackers. It also ranks next to St. Patty’s Day as my favorite holiday to dress up for. I have purchased ‘Murica shorts for the occasion.

-Am I the only one around here who doesn’t like their real smile? I read somewhere that you don’t like how you actually look, because it’s not how you see yourself-since you’re used to seeing the you that you pose for or see in the mirror. That’s deep, man.

-I still like twitter better than facebook.

-Wedding time is a week from tomorrow. Where did the time go? Will I still fit in my dress? Oh, please God, let me fit in my dress and still be able to breathe. No one laugh too hard if it splits up the back, okay? I’ll wear appropriate underwear, promise.

-Oh, Paula Deen. I don’t know what to think about you. But, let’s be honest here-I couldn’t stand to watch her show even before the scandal of her using the n-word. But let me say this: It’s my least favorite word. Nothing gets under my skin faster. Probably that and the f-word (as in the derogatory word for a homosexual man) can be completely gone from the English language as far as I’m concerned. There’s my opinion. These words are holding us back from true equality. Write this down.

-In closing, I don’t have much to say lately, and I’m sorry. I’ll get a blog topic in mind, and then I sit on it for a while, and then I’m all like, “no one will care about this…” but in truth, maybe you do. Keep in mind, also, it’s been a hell of a long month for me. I took a much needed family get away/vacation thing last week and just relaxed, and it was the most uneventful and wonderful weekend out of the month. 

Oh, Hello Blog.

I will update my blog more. I just will. I really will.

Okay. Glad I got that off of my chest.

You know what, y’all? I’ve been a busy little bee. I’m not even kidding. I can’t even believe it’s been as long as it has since my last update, because it seems like it was just yesterday.
Though it wasn’t.

Here’s what’s been going on:

I went to my first Ranger’s game of the season. They lost. I was disappointed at the boos for Hamilton, I really was. That’s not sportsmanship, you guys. I mean…I wasn’t even sad he left. Though I did wear my “Baseball Town” t-shirt with pride, and I did cheer when we struck him out…but I cheer when we strike anyone out. Maybe I did clap harder though…who knows. Anyway. It was a nice experience. Our seats were awesome, because they were indoor, so my mom could join us. And even though we were inside, they still had the “sounds of the ballpark” in surround sound throughout the place, so we didn’t miss out too much on the “crowd experience", which is my favorite part of going to the games.
My next game is next Friday (!!!), where I will join the crowd for real this time, and I am really excited. : )

I had a birthday. I am now a quarter of a century old. I can legally rent vehicles. I think that’s about it. After 21 it’s not so exciting, you just get older.
Which is something I’ve been saying since my 22^nd birthday.

On my birthday, I received a message from Aiden’s little brother’s mother, Lea, telling me happy birthday.
Anyone who knows me well knows that I had been struggling with issues with Aiden’s dad for quite a while, and I never felt completely better.
Until I started getting to know this girl.
Turns out? She’s a wonderful person, who I have a ton in common with.
We actually talk every single day now. I would consider her a good friend of mine.
Which…will be better for our kiddos.

And I am happier with that situation today than I have been in over a year.
It’s funny to me that that’s all it took.
But I know myself. I know I had to take that time for some self growth, and a lot of it was just getting over my pride. But look at me now-I let it all go and I feel so much better.
Not only that, it’s inspired me to just let all the other crap I've been holding on to go.
What’s that book title? “Don’t sweat the small stuff…and it’s all small stuff.”
Something like that.

Also, as I've said before, I have been very busy-so much that it seems like my constant, and I don’t actually notice how busy I am until someone tries to make plans with me and then it’s like OH SORRY, pick a day three weeks from now and I’ll pencil you in.
Just kidding. It’s not that bad.
I just do plan things on the weekends pretty far ahead of time, because I plan them according to whether or not Aiden is at his dad’s.
Write this down.

In other news, I started Tony Horton’s 10 minute trainer, which is just like P90x, but for busy peeps.
Peeps, as in people, not the disgusting Easter candy.
I discovered that I’m going to need a remote for my DVD player to make this work, so I have to go get one today. But I did do just the warm up last night, and broke a sweat from that.
That could also be because I haven’t done a SINGLE thing to work out since like March 13^th.
Le sigh.

And that’s a wrap. 

The Aiden Language, Exposed, Part Deux

I hope I spelled Deux right. It would totally ruin my life and blog if I didn't. 

Anyway. 

This post is about my child now pretty much asks for what he wants, which is awesome, because that whole trying to decipher what a cry means part of my life was scary and confusing. 

Now? He speaks. He tells you exactly what he wants, when he wants it. 

Or does he? 

Behold, a new list of Aiden-isms. Viewer Discretion Advised. 

Mine – Pronounced “Miiiiiinets!”. Whatever it is, you better give it now. I mean now. I wish to hold it for a minute, but only just so long. If you do not comply I will throw myself onto the ground for three minutes or however long it takes me to notice you’ve walked away. Note: This is especially harsh when it involves food.

Potty – Pronounced “Paw-eee”. I wish to trick you into thinking I’m closer to being potty trained, but really, I just wish to sit upon the throne whilst eye-balling the bath tub. I will casually suggest after a few moments that I need a bath. I will argue with you with a sweet smile about this, as you insist I need to potty. I don’t.

Bath – Pronounced “Bass”. Sometimes sounds like “bache”. I wish to sit in the warm water playing with my toys. Naked. Because that’s how God intended it. I think. Anyway, don’t you dare wash my hair. I mean it. That cup is for drinking bath water while you’re not looking, so if you so much as THINK of pouring that water on my head so help me…

Blanket – Pronounced “dane-det”. This is not meant for cuddling with momma. I wish to race my cars on the pattern of the blanket, so lay it out for me like a good momma. There. The lines in the blanket should make a road. There. Now go fetch me some cheese.

Night Night – Pronounced like it reads. Don’t be difficult. And you think you’re getting a nap? Ah. AHahahahah. No. I wish to cuddle in momma’s bed under her blankets and pretend to sleep for approximately 30 seconds, whilst fake snoring. I will perk my head up and insist that I “fix” your alarm clock. This involves pressing buttons, and changing the lighting settings which were previously set to automatically adjust to the lighting in the room. After I “fix” your alarm clock, I will lay back down and pretend to sleep again. This will go on until I announce it’s time to wake up. Then we will watch cartoons. Lucky you. 

A few things:

-I learned today that vinegar is good for a sunburn. It takes the heat out, leaving you with a beautiful tan. I learned this from my 92-year-old coworker/friend, who I was driving home from a Rehabilitation Center. So...if he says it, it must be true.

-I went and played this weekend, and now I can't wake up at all. I was hoping to clean today, butttt......

-Neither myself or Aiden's dad played any kind of sport growing up. So explain to me how the kid is already interested in playing catch? Also, he can distinguish baseballs from footballs. Kid's a winner.

-That being said, he's also two. TWO. Do you know of the "terrible two's"? Wanna babysit?

-It seems like a good idea in theory to cook pasta in the leftover broth from potato soup when the potatoes are gone, but it's really not. I am wanting to experiment more with cooking pasta directly in the sauce (the starch in the pasta thickens the sauce), but the result of this experiment was a VERY filling, starchy, goopy, only-kinda-good mess. Take note of that. When I perfect this, I may add it to the food blog.

-I think I forgot about my food blog. What food blog? Hum.

-Oh, that one. Okay. Well, I do have pictures on my phone for that. Le sigh.

-I picked out a very flattering black (floor length, don't worry) dress for C's hitchin' party. I got it on sale. It is the right color. It does not have to be altered (yet...here's hoping...). I was a winner that day.

-Yawn.